First let me (re?)iterate that Mark Twain is one scary old dude!"To love another person is to see the face of God." Victor Hugo
[Remember: OK, I perhaps hadn't previously used those exact words but if you have perused some of my earlier posts, you will know that he has this tendency to be looking over my shoulder as if he is personally knows what is going on in my life.]
The Scary Dude part is that in his Ch IX of "The Innocents Abroad" Twain gives reference to Valentines!
Here [Tangier], marriage is contracted by the parents of the parties to it. There are no valentines, no stolen interviews, no riding out, no courting in dim parlors, no lovers' quarrels and reconciliations--no nothing that is proper to approaching matrimony. The young man takes the girl his father selects for him, marries her, and after that she is unveiled, and he sees her for the first time. If after due acquaintance she suits him, he retains her; but if he suspects her purity, he bundles her back to her father; if he finds her diseased, the same; or if, after just and reasonable time is allowed her, she neglects to bear children, back she goes to the home of her childhood.
And in "Tamara Universe" today is Feb 17, a mere three days after the most romantic of all holidays...
[Tip: Hah! Sometimes it pays off to cheat a bit. I just happened to notice that in his Ch X Mr. Twain is going to celebrate the Fourth of July! I am quite confident, barring some terrible tragedy like being run over by a bus and being laid up in the hospital for five months...knock wood...that I will not be having Independence Day occur in MY life anytime soon. Take that Mr. Twain!]
Mr. Twain is still in Tangier, it only having been one day since he last entertained us with his experiences in what he calls "the second oldest town in the world" and he is already chomping at the bit to move on to his next destination, being bored and not at all appreciative of the fact that he has sufficient time and money to travel the globe and that there are poor children even now in China who do not have this opportunity. And so he, whom I no doubt may have been "the second oldest" man in the town of Tangier during his stay and thus crotchety, does tend to go on and on about how torturous lonely and boring it must be to be stationed there as American Counsel General and that it is a post only worthy of the vilest criminal offenders to have to carry out.
And so now, back in my Universe, instead of being happy with having frivolously celebrated 2010 Valentine's weekend with my husband by playing Wii and consuming Meat Ball Pizza, cheesy bread sticks, cookies and soda, I now am forced, in honor of St. Valentine and his followers, to be contemplative and usher up some awesome depth of insight on love....and solitude.
The consequence of this coercion is that my mind has struggled between the understanding of how much we as people need to love each other and the understanding that, this being true, we need our solitude. Since during the past several years I have undergone an important season of healing in my own life because of and despite of self-imposed solitude and deep depression, my epiphany is that people need both.
We need each other physically, soulicly and spiritually. Indeed, God Himself when He created us deemed it was not good for us to be alone. Yet sometimes it takes solitude to really come to intimately know ourselves and how truly deep God's love for us as individuals is. David took time alone to mediate during angst-riddled emotional and physical battles in his life. John the Baptist and Christ had their times alone in the desert, forsaking all that had to do with society and comfort, to come to a deeper understanding of who they were in themselves and in God.
And so I, now knowing that my journey in some very small way ran parallel to these great saints of the Bible, have come through painful times of aloneness to grow into one so very grateful that God stood with me resolutely and passionately during my exile from others. And the "Creator of me" also helped me understand that He gifted me with others in my life whose love held true even in the worst. During times when I couln't tolerate myself at all, let alone image that someone else could, somehow they remained true.
I do not know if everyone goes through times of solitude and growth to the degree that David, John, Christ or even I did. I do know that I am thankful for my time of solitude. For my walk with Him is truer now and with less wavering on my part. (He never falters.) And my steps with my loved ones are richer. The contentment He has taught me to have in myself has only deepened my contentment in being with those I love. For trite but true, until we love ourselves we cannot truly love others. I guess this understanding could be called God's Valentine gift to me!
"During my solitude, conflicting thoughts increased; but much exercise of soul had the effect of causing the scriptures to gain complete ascendancy over me." John Nelson Darby
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